A two-step guide to cutting hard-wires
To what extent do you believe in the concept that certain aspects of a person’s personality or behaviours are ‘hard-wired’?
Are there certain attitudes, behaviours or aspects about yourself that you feel are simply an embedded part of you, unmoveable?
Do you ever wish that you could cut those wires, but don’t know how?
Read on for a simple, but not simplistic, two-step approach that could see you snipping them for good.
The term “hard-wired” has been a popular one in cultural and academic writings in recent decades. It refers to psychological capacities that some scholars presume to be partially embedded within us, such as religion, cognitive biases, prejudice, or aggression.
For a lot of people, the very concept of ‘hard-wiring’ can create self limiting situations for ourselves. For example, if we believe that we are hard-wired to have a poor sense of self control, we might find it difficult to stick to a regular exercise regime.
Or if we feel that we are ‘not a creative person’ at our core, we might limit ourselves to never venturing into creative pursuits.
Or if we believe that people simply either are or aren’t good public speakers, and we classify ourselves in the latter camp, we can limit our ability to learn a new skill.
Ideas of ‘hard-wiring’ regarding certain capabilities or attributes can be drummed into us at an early stage. If we are consistently told this by the people around us, whether peers, or those in authority (parents, teachers, coaches etc.), we can create very real patterns in our minds.
These patterns can persist in our brains carving out physical mental pathways that consistently reinforce limiting stories: “Well, you’re not very good at public speaking, anyway, so no point volunteering.” Or “Remember the time you tried to draw a cat and everyone sniggered because they thought it was a Christmas dinner? Best avoid that happening again”.
These patterns can be very real. But the good news is that science is revealing that they’re not as ‘hard-wired’ as many might have you believe.
Growing data on neural plasticity suggests that, with the possible exception of inborn reflexes, remarkably few psychological capacities in humans are genuinely hard-wired (Huttenlocher, 2009; Shermer, 2015).
Moreover, virtually all psychological capacities, including emotions and language, are modifiable by environmental experiences (Merzenich, 2013).
Neural plasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt throughout life, like a muscle getting stronger with exercise. And what the above says is that our brains are a lot less like a hard-wired mechanism that can only function in the way it was designed to.
Our brains are a lot more like an Etch-A-Sketch.
As I have undoubtedly dated myself and my childhood in revealing this comparison, let me briefly explain this in more detail.
Invented in the 1950s, an Etch A Sketch is a toy with a gray screen and two knobs that control a stylus, allowing you to create lines and shapes. By turning the two knobs, one moving the stylus horizontally and the other vertically, a vast array of images can be created. The device can be used to recreate a limitless world of patterns and shapes, turning them into whatever fantasic pattern, or story, your mind might wish to conceive.
But when you shake it, the screen resets, erasing your drawing.
Etch a Sketch images aren’t hard-wired. If you’re willing to shake them up, you get to start again. And so, too, are the patterns in our mind - as the emerging science behind neural plasticity is showing.
When we encounter persistent patterns and stories, it’s not because they’re the only ones we’re capable of producing; it’s because we might need to shake them up in order to try to create new ones.
And just like an Etch a Sketch, we’ve got two ways to create new ones.
In order to create new patterns, stories or images for ourself, we need two things:
Self Awareness
A willing to change
To create new patterns, we need to take a dual approach.
Self awareness is about being willing to ask and probe into why previous patterns might exist:
How do you typically react in a certain situation, or when you feel a certain emotion?
What are the feelings that you experience when faced with a certain ‘hard-wired’ situation or thought pattern?
What do you notice in the run-up to, or aftermath of, a particular incident when it comes to a familiar pattern?
We can use these patterns to piece together a picture of why we might have the patterns that we do. In many instances, exploring these questions with a trained professional, or a trusted, impartial friend or family member, can be extremely helpful in not only noticing patterns in the first place, but trying to unpick them, and is always a recommended course of action.
But the ‘why’ is only one part of creating a new image. It’s only turning one knob on our Etch a Sketch.
In order to move from understanding into action, we need to also commit to a willingness to change when it comes to new patterns.
I think a lot of people believe that self improvement is about only turning the self awareness knob. And whilst this is undeniably important, it is only one half of the work of creating a new pattern we might wish to create.
The second step of this process is deciding for ourselves that we want to commit to a new image, whether that be of ourselves, or how we might want to behave in a certain scenario, or in taking on a new skill or capability.
This second step is often harder, because it feels so much less defined.
Whilst learning about ourselves can be daunting, this step feels far less defined.
What if we fail, or it doesn’t work how we might want it to?
A willingness to change is not about ignoring these possibilities, or seeking assurances that they won’t happen; it’s about deciding to pursue them anyway because we are committed to the idea of developing a new pattern for ourselves within our lives.
It is courageous, it will likely be difficult, but it is important work in understanding the stories of our lives, and creating the ones we wish to live.
Our patterns are not hard-wired.
We can create new ones.
And self-awareness and a willingness to change are the tools that can get us there.