Why the stories we tell ourselves really matter, as does learning the ability to change them.

Happiness lies in the smallness of the gap between our expectations, and our reality. Now, we could lower our expectations to gain more happiness, but I believe that honing the ability to change our reality is a more enduring way of achieving that. And mindfulness can give you that power.

Today’s world wants you to believe that every problem can be solved. There’s an app, or website, or product for that. The harsh reality no one wants to tell you is that your world will always have problems. The way to improve your world in this modern context is to choose the problems you invite into your life.

A strong sense of self should not be ‘I am what I think is true’. Rather, it should be ‘I am what I think is important’. In other words, if you’re going to have a strong sense of identity, it should be grounded in your values, not your beliefs.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” These words feel like they were crafted specifically for our modern world. We don’t want to sit with our thoughts. Because doing so might lead to us questioning their weaknesses, or worse, their origins.

Humans’ superpower is the ability to tell stories. Stories help us to make sense of an uncertain world. Stories are not facts; they exist to prompt questions. The ability to question and update our own uncomfortable stories is the key to building resilience.

Their bends and undulations aren't flaws, but the defining characteristic of what they are. When we accept the kinks, meanders and oxbow lakes of our own lives, we're able to treat ourselves more kindly. And in doing so, fall in love with a process over an outcome.

Car manufacturers design their cars’ functionality around my own limits. They recognise them easily enough. So why can't I?

Toilet brushes are great philosophical tools in my life because they force me to ask a single question: Am I prepared to deal with my own sh*t today?

What is the inate power that pulls us into the clutches of oceans, and what can it teach us? The answer lies in their immense power and ability to overwhelm us.

Because they tell us something vital about the connections in our own lives: Please, listen.

Knowing how little you matter is very important for your mental health and your happiness. Giving ourselves daily reminders of our tiny place in the world gives us perspective, and this can free us to chase what we want.